Talks about God

Last night I had the opportunity to talk with Mackenzi about God. It's not that this was the first time, mind you, but she said something to me that really impressed upon me how her mind functions! A dear friend of mine called me and asked for prayer for her dad, who had stopped breathing. She was frantic, and in the middle of knowing whether he was going to live or not. Unfortunately he was unable to be revived, and Mackenzi heard me tell Brian after I hung up the phone that he had passed away and had gone to be with Jesus. It sparked some questions that she had in her mind - like, "Will he ever come back?" "Is he dead?" "Where is he?" And so I turned out conversation from the fact that Robin's dad had passed away to more that while he is not here on earth, he is living in Heaven because he chose to accept Jesus into his life and to live for him. I explained to her that one day she will make that decision to ask Jesus into her heart and will choose to live for him as well. Then she informed me that God was in her heart. Which I agreed, that God is living inside of us. Then she asked me if she'll die. Which, I did tell her that one day, yes, she will die as well - but if she accepts Jesus into her heart, she will live with him in Heaven after she dies. Then she looked at me, puzzled, and asked, "Well, if I ask Jesus to come into my heart, will God just get out?" What a very practical way to view God and Jesus living in her heart - and her feeling that they can't do it at the same time. Of course she can't understand the Trinity - but, I just explained to her that they could both live in her heart, there would be no need for choosing between the two. I was so glad to have this "open" conversation with her, because it occurred to me after she asked that question, what if she never asked the question, and was afraid to ask Jesus to come into her heart for fear of "kicking" God out?

12 weeks down. . .

I went to the doctor this past Wednesday and despite my crazy fears. . .the baby is doing GREAT! The heartbeat was strong at 164 this time. At my 8 weeks visit, the heartbeat was 176. I scanned the sonogram pictures from my 8 week visit. The top one is of the heartbeat being measured and the second one is pointing at the baby's heart that was beating so strongly. To the right of the arrow is the baby's head and legs and arms are to the left. It's truly incredible, and now that I've exceeded the 12th week visit, I feel like I can finally rest and enjoy this pregnancy without worrying so much. I've known from the beginning that God is in control, but I've certainly struggled to not worry myself crazy!

Thanks for continued prayers, they keep me going from day to day!

Week 10 - December 10th

I'm in week 10 of my pregnancy. It's very exciting to be this far, and things to seemingly be doing well. It's incredible, as much as it was when I was pregnant with Kenzi, to know that there is a baby growing inside of me - forming all they need to live in this life! It is so humbling. And I think that because it has been such a challenge, that I feel I can appreciate this experience so much. The past couple of days have been challenging for me as I have wanted to get so much accomplished, and attempt to - but then realize that resting is really what my body desires!

Mackenzi is so excited. When people find out I'm pregnant, one of their first or second questions is what does Mackenzi think of the baby? It doesn't take much if you know her to know that she is more than thrilled. She is attacking my belly all the time wanting to kiss it and touch it. The other night she asked me if when the baby comes out, when the baby is still small, can he or she sleep with her? This past weekend I went to get my hair done. It was early Saturday morning, and she wanted to go with me to the salon. I kept telling her that she needed to stay home and play, that there is nothing for her to do while I'm getting my hair done. Well, then she said, "But Mom, I need to be with the baby!" Very creatively manipulative! But, nonetheless, I told her she needed to stay at home. She would be fine. Several weeks ago she told me on the way home from school that she had invited a few people to the hospital. Then she named some from our family and about 3 or 4 kids from her class at school. She was determined that they would all be there. It's really funny, and a joy to see her experience this pregnancy in her own way. She's so loving and caring.

Tomorrow is my 8th wedding anniversary to Brian. It's very exciting. Mackenzi is going to stay with Natasha and Jeremiah while we go to dinner. It will be fun. We haven't spent much time together lately with all that's been going on. It seems like we're always going in different directions. I'm looking forward to it. I love having my anniversary in December because it does help us to stop doing all the Christmas shopping and decorating and allows us an opportunity to just spend some quality time together.

New Life. . .

The past month has been very exciting and tiring at the same time. I have been extremely exhausted, due to the new life that's growing inside of me, and haven't kept up with my blog all month. My routine lately has been to go to work, come home, go to bed. And the weekends have consisted of me laying around, resting the whole time. A couple of weeks ago, we went to Spring to see my parents and I kept telling my mom that I felt like I was drugged - just too tired to get off her couch.

This past Monday was my first doctor's appointment. Things have changed since I was pregnant with Mackenzi - then I went in immediately after discovering I was pregnant through a home test, the doctor's office confirmed my pregnancy through a blood test, and then at 6 weeks I had my first appointment to hear the baby's heartbeat. . .then I went from there. However, now, they basically say that home tests are accurate, and they just schedule an appointment for 8 weeks. I was pretty anxious as is to be expected for this appointment that was on Monday. Sunday, specifically, I struggled all day with the fear I was experiencing. Brian wasn't going to be able to go with me, but then near the end of last week, he managed to work it out so he could be there. I was grateful for that! He met me there as I was being called back. We had a different sonogram technician (and I was secretly glad for that difference). When the baby came up on the monitor and the technician pointed out the heartbeat right away, I lost it. I was shaking fiercely. . .and then she made it so we could hear the heartbeat, and it just really was incredible. I finally stopped crying and was able to see the screen. She gave us 3 pictures of the baby and although the baby is still so small, with the magnified picture, you can see the outline of the baby's head, arms, legs, and the heart. It's more than incredible. I couldn't stop praising God, and still can't! I'm so thankful for the life growing inside of me.

The rest of my visit went smoothly as I was able to see Dr. Finke. Then I headed on into work. . .and over the next couple of days, it became so clear to me that I was more fearful before the appointment than I even realized. Just in the last few days, I've had more energy (although I'm still completely spent by the afternoon/evening), but there's motivation now that wasn't there before. There's a joy that I feel knowing that the baby is doing just fine.

I'm so thankful to know of the many people who have lifted us up in prayer. A friend of mine told me the other day that she pictured me like the character on Peanuts who has the cloud over their head. . .and said that for me, it's like she sees this cloud of prayer covering me and my baby growing inside me. . .and I truly believe that. God is the ultimate designer of my life. There's no understanding what happened a year ago - and there's no explanation as to why this baby will likely survive. . .what has become very clear to me is that whether here or in heaven, my children belong to God. They are His from the beginning and throughout. What I prayed specifically for this time is that He will let me hold this one, and raise him/her to love Him. I'm so thankful for all the support that I have received. I don't know how people don't feel community and don't have support for times like this. I pray that I seize the opportunity to partake in supporting other people going through difficult times. . .to return the love that I've felt.

This baby is loved. By me and all those praying, including one little 4 1/2 year old girl who can't wait to love on her baby brother or sister.

Fall Festival

We had a great time this past Saturday night at Mansfield's Fall Festival. Mackenzi decided that she would be a princess for the festival. She had gotten a costume for her birthday that was precious and so last week we found her some cute shoes to go with the dress from the Disney store that lit up when she walked. I decided to french braid her hair "backwards" so that all her hair would be on top of her head. . .it worked out really well, and for most of the night, she was able to keep her crown on top of her head. I also decided at the last minute that it would be fun to put makeup on her, and she definitely agreed with the idea! I had no idea her eyelashes were that LONG!

We picked up Natasha and Jeremiah. Jeremiah was dressed up as a cowboy, complete with wranglers, a belt buckle, boots, hat, and a gun, that unfortunately didn't make itself home with us at the end of the night. We're not quite sure what happened to it. We headed to the location to drop off our car and then rode in a big yellow bus to the park. Mackenzi was so excited about her first ride in a school bus!

The Festival was huge, with booths all over the place, and people dressed up in all kinds of costumes. It was a lot of fun. The kids got to get a little bit of candy, a balloon, and then we ate nachos and corny dogs like you would at the state fair. It was fun. The line took quite a while, but we finally managed to get our food. Rockway, our church, had a booth set up as well, and so Natasha and I had signed up to help "man" the booth by passing out candy and cards with Rockway's info on it. Mackenzi and Jeremiah had fun helping out by passing out candy, and eating as much as they could with us not knowing it! :)

There were tons of bounce houses, a tractor led train ride, and a petting zoo. It was late when we got back to our car, but everyone still had fun on the bus ride back. I

The Park

Last week Mackenzi was sick, and so we stayed home from school. I took her to the doctor and he said that she was beginning to get pneumonia. So, he gave us a double dose of medicine, and we went back home. That entire day, Mackenzi was BEGGING to go to the park. I kept telling her that she was sick and we didn't need to have her out sharing her germs! But, later on that next week, so managed to get her to the park twice. Once with just Brian and I and here are a couple of pictures from that day. . .

and then we met Jeremiah and Natasha another day. I love this picture of Miah and Kenzi because we have a hard time getting them to smile at the camera at the SAME time. So, I was very excited to see that we finally accomplished this here!

The Pumpkin Patch 10.17.07

This past Wednesday night Mackenzi's soccer practice was cancelled because of the rain that we had on Monday. I guess the grounds were just completely saturated. Well, we made the best of it and went to a Pumpkin Patch with Jeremiah and Natasha. Mackenzi and Jeremiah had such a great time running through the pumpkins and sitting on the different photo set ups that they had available. It was a challenge to get the two of them to smile at the same time, and to be looking the same direction at the same time - but nonetheless, we had a lot of fun. Mackenzi bought a small pumpkin for her school and Miah got two itty bitty pumpkins for his house.

Friends - Mackenzi and Keith

Mackenzi has this special friend of hers. . .Keith Wiginton III, they have known each other for what seems their whole life. We started going to Rockway Church in the summer of 2004 - Kenzi was just a little over 1 year old. In the summer of 2005, our church had a Vacation Bible School week. Sarah, our pastor's wife, mentioned to me that her mom who works with the kids, had told her that Mackenzi and her little boy, Keith, play really well together. They were just about 2 years old. That October, Keith invited Mackenzi to his birthday party. Sarah has the most precious picture of the two of them at his party - Mackenzi's smiling as big as she can at the camera, and Keith is smiling as big as he can at her! It's too precious. The two of them are like peas in a pod - they can talk and talk and talk to each other. It's really sweet. We're also involved in Home Teams at our church and our hometeam meets at Keith's house - so, Mackenzi and Keith nearly drive us all crazy from the time that church is out in the morning until hometeams that evening. It's really crazy. They do have a lot of fun playing with each other. This past Sunday evening our church got together at a park in Mansfield and Mackenzi and Keith played their hearts out. I have the two cutest pictures of them - the first one is of them being super silly.

the second picture I captured really quickly as they walked hand in hand to the area of the park where we had a praise time with our muisc minister. It was a little fuzzy, so I went ahead and changed the color to sepia - just to capture their tiny frames.

Brian's 35!

This past Thursday, October 4th was Brian's 35th birthday. Kenzi and I surprised him by hanging streamers in the house. She also made him a shirt that said, "I love you - your soccer star!" We met him for dinner at the Texas Roadhouse and had a great dinner. Here's a precious picture of Mackenzi's profile. She's being a bit silly and bubbling up her cheeks. . .


I had invited his family to come over on Saturday so that we could celebrate with them. Kenzi had a game against the Bluebonnets and so we had invited them to come see her game. Uncle Phillip and Aunt Sara were able to make it, but Memaw and Pepaw got stuck in a terrible traffic jam! We went to eat at BJ's in Arlington. It was a great dinner. Then we came back home and had a red velvet cake. It was really yummy! I bought it at the Cooper Street Bakery. Very delicious. Brian and Mackenzi were being silly - and gave each other "wet willies!"

Brian's Aunt Gay is a flight attendant and recently went to Germany. She brought Brian back some bread and pretzels! They were delicious too! Brian's being crazy again and pretending to put the whole loaf in his mouth. He was pretty crazy!




We had a great time - and Brian had a great birthday.

Show N Tell

Today is Mackenzi's day for show-n-tell at her preschool. She's going to Cross of Christ Lutheran school. She's been going there since she was 17 months old when I started working at Grace. This year we started her out in the regular MDO class for the 4 year olds. However, the school came to us and asked if she could be moved on up into the preschool class. Her new teacher's name is Mrs. Hinkley - although Kenzi was calling her Mrs. Klinkley for at least the first week.

She's asked me everyday this week if it is her day to take the show-n-tell to school. And today was finally the day! Last night it was hilarious because she had the bag in my room and was walking back and forth from my room to hers bringing various items to put in the bag. At first I didn't realize what she was doing, but then it dawned on me - and by then she had a multitude of items in the bag - it's a pretty large bag, so it was holding all these items with no problem. Once I realized what she was doing, I asked her to show me what she had in the bag. . .she had 3 barbies (which were given to her by my boss from work this past week - Jennifer has a 9 year old who is working on cleaning out her room, and that consisted of giving Mackenzi nearly 19 barbie dolls, accessories included!) and then she had various things - notepad paper that she had scribbled on - a coloring book that her school gave her on how to "keep her body safe" - I told her that all the kids in her class received the same coloring book, and felt it would be o.k. to take that out. Then we proceeded to take out the 5 or 6 different sheets of paper. With each one she told me why she thought it should be included - on one she had written Colby's name - on one she had written what was going to be "taught" for the day - etc. . .just her rendition of why those pieces of paper were important. Thankfully I talked her down to just the three barbies.

This morning she was very eager to carry the bag out to the car - which is something she won't really ask to do on an ordinary day when I'm lugging her lunch box, bag with her blanket for naptime in it, my lunch, my water bottles from home, my purse. . .well, you get the picture! She was very excited. She even jumped out of the car when we arrived at school and quickly took that green bag from my arms. We entered the threshold of her classroom door and she ran on over to the place where the show-n-tell bag is designated to be. Beaming, she came back to the door to give me a kiss goodbye. Up until this point, I just hadn't realized how much she's growing up - I mean, I do on some occasions, like the other day when she asked me if it was Daddy's birthday and I told her no - she replied, "Oh pickle." It's just so crazy to look back at pictures when she didn't have hair, and was crying every time I stepped more than 4 feet away from her. . .and now - not that she doesn't get upset at me for not waiting for her when we walk down the hallway, but just that she is more than excited to interact with the friends she has at school, and to have purpose in her day at school. Time flies way too quickly.

the curb. . .10 years

We have this incredible story of our first kiss. . .I was waiting near where Brian parked one day. He was to get out of spanish class and I was boldly waiting for him. Of course I had my backpack filled with "things" to be working on while I was waiting, so it wouldn't appear that I was just waiting on him, even though that's what I was doing.

He came around the corner, was talking with a couple of people - then his eyes met mine - and it was in that second that I knew that my waiting for him was exactly what made him smile. I was comforted in knowing that he returned my interest in him. We sat on the curb for several hours that afternoon. One of my friends walked by and saw us - then came back by after her class was over - we were still sitting there, on that curb - just talking.

It was that afternoon on September 30th that we shared our first kiss. His story is different than mine! He says that I was more pursuing of him - but I say that I just gave him reassurance that it was o.k. to kiss me - he was that kind of gentleman - and waited for my "approval." Nonetheless, we shared our first kiss on the curb at DBU - overlooking Mountain Creek Lake.

This curb became very special to us - when we would leave school for a weekend, or a holiday - we would go to the curb and pray together and spend that moment there together. And, year after year - this one being our 10th, we've returned to DBU to remember that afternoon and to thank Jesus for our lives together. Five years ago we had the opportunity to thank God for the life that was growing inside me. It has been such a joy to have this place where we can go and feel the flood of the memories that we shared in the first two years of our life together.

This year going to the curb was a bit different - you see, DBU is growing so much and now, instead of our curb, there is a construction site where they plan to build a chapel. Fortunately for us, there was a beautiful gazebo between the buildings where we camped out and said our thanksgivings to God. It was there this year that we took pictures of our family.

Just to catch up to this year - here are the pictures that we have that are digital from going to the Curb on September 30th each year.

2003 - Year 4 years of marriage - Mackenzi was just 3 months old

2004 - Year 5 of our marriage - Mackenzi was just 15 months old

2005 - Year 6 of our marriage - Kenzi was just over 2 years old (somehow this year we didn't take one big family picture - we ended up with separate pictures with Mackenzi)

2006 - Year 7 of our marriage - Mackenzi was just over 3 years old

Year 8 of our marriage - Mackenzi is just over 4 years old